Wedding planner and venue owner Alison Rios McCrone helps solve your dilemmas, no matter how big or small, in a weekly agony aunt column.
Dear Alison,
My fiance and I met in alcohol recovery meetings, so we are both sober. Now our wedding is coming up, so we’re facing the question of whether to serve alcohol or not.
It’s important to us to have the wedding that we want, and when you’re sober, being around a load of drunk people isn’t that much fun! Some of our guests are in recovery too, and we want them to have a good time, especially the ones that haven’t been sober that long and find being around booze hard.
However, a lot of our friends and relatives do drink alcohol and we want them to have a good time as well. Besides that, some don’t know that my fiancé and I are recovering addicts so having a tee-total wedding will raise a lot of questions.
There are loads of good non-alcoholic drinks now, and a big rise in people who are just sober out of choice, but weddings seem to be the one event when alcohol is always expected and there is quite a lot at stake personally. How can we have a wedding that’s right for us and fun for all our guests?
Thanks,
L.B.
Do you have a wedding problem you need some advice on?
Weddings are joyful occasions – but they’re also incredibly stressful. Whether you’re a bride or groom, best woman or man, family member or friend of the couple, the run up to the big day can be very tense.
If you need a bit of help with your quandary, Alison, who has run a venue for 10 years and helps couples plan weddings, is here to offer a helping hand.
Email platform@metro.co.uk to share your issue anonymously with Alison and get it solved.
Dear L.B.
First of all, congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
It’s wonderful that you and your fiancé are building a life together based on shared values – including sobriety.
It’s completely understandable to have concerns about how your decision to have an alcohol-free wedding will be received – but remember, this is your special day and should reflect what makes you both happy and comfortable. The last thing you want is to feel anxious or on edge.
Your idea of a tee-total wedding is not as unusual as it once was – more and more couples are making the same choice, whether for personal, health, or religious reasons.
At our venue, we’ve hosted several booze-free weddings.
Several years ago, for example, one group in the wedding party did not drink alcohol due to religious beliefs, while the other did. To accommodate both, we created a simple solution: A curtain was put up so that alcohol was not visible to those who did not drink it, and all alcoholic drinks were poured from behind the curtain.
We have also hosted weddings where none was served at all. It was never an issue, and that was down to clear communication with all the guests before the wedding.
Each wedding focused on celebrating the couple’s love, and the guests had a wonderful time.
And as you’ve mentioned, the world of alcohol-free drinks has expanded tremendously.
From non-alcoholic gins, beers, and wines to beautifully crafted mocktails, your guests won’t need to miss out on the ‘celebratory’ feel of a drink in hand. In fact, many of them may even appreciate the variety and creativity that come with a well-thought-out, soft drink menu.
But mocktails notwithstanding, one of your biggest concerns seems to be how to navigate this decision with guests who don’t know about your recovery – and so it might be worth considering using your wedding to let everyone know you’re sober (you don’t have to tell them why).
It is essential to communicate clearly with all your guests – and this way, friends or relatives who might have otherwise handed you a glass of champagne, a shot or suggested a toast, won’t unknowingly put you in an awkward position.
They will also understand your decision not to serve any booze on the day and will – hopefully – be supportive of that.
Whether you choose to share your reasons or not, if you let people know in advance that your wedding will be alcohol-free, it sets the expectation early and allows your friends and family to plan accordingly. Some might appreciate the opportunity to drive home instead of booking accommodation or arranging alternative transport.
With regard to how your drinking guests will feel, remember that a wedding is about much more than drinking. Good food, great music, and joyful company make a celebration unique.
If your wedding is full of love and laughter (and maybe some fun mocktails!), your guests will have a fantastic time.
Ultimately, you and your fiancé should prioritise what feels right for you.
If an alcohol-free wedding matches your values and helps create a safe, fun space for you and your loved ones in recovery, then go for it with confidence.
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Your guests aren’t just anyone. They are the people closest to you who will genuinely care about you, respect your decision, and support it – and who will be there to celebrate your love and commitment on the day.
Wishing you a beautiful and joy-filled wedding, filled with love, laughter, and the celebration of your shared values!
Best wishes
Alison
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk.
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